The Art of Irony
by Ivy Kendall
Summary: Sharon's reflection about divorce. (Inspired by tumbler comment from yetanotherramblingfangirl.)


Sharon looked out on the water crashing against the rocks along the beach. The water always soothed her. Over the years she frequently found herself coming to spend time alone with the waves, after fights with Jack. The metaphor gave her strength. The water, so strong and yet so pliable under the right circumstances, was not deterred from it's course, even by the strength of immovable rocks who's one role in life was to keep the erosion... keep the changing of the land... from happening. She was the water. She adjusted her force and her breadth for her children, for her job, for her friends and even herself, but she would not let the wall of Jackson Raydor block her efforts to change the landscape of her life. The few times she had allowed him to stop her, ended in disaster. No more.

The last few days had been good reminders of who he was at the core of his being. He used to flatter her with all the right words, bringing gifts and messages of love to distract her as he slid the knife into her side and twisted. This time around he just went for the knife.

What had she seen in the man? Was it a moment of madness, as her sister tried to convince her? Was it an act of rebellion, that once begun her stubbornness would not let her deny? That was her mother's theory. Or was it that she alone could see the goodness in him, and was the only one who could keep him steady? That had been the often voiced belief of Jack's grandmother. Towards the end of her life, Sharon noticed it had been said more as a prayer than with conviction. She was sorry to tell the old woman, she was incapable of such a feat. Jack's refusal to move with the tide was their undoing.

It angered her greatly to see him call her bluff. The divorce was what she wanted. It was what she had wanted for some time, but careful calculation of the cost-benefit analysis kept her from taking that final step. There were too many variables in the mix, and with him gone most of the time anyway, she could have her proverbial cake and eat it too. If Jack was not around, he could at least be expedient. She chose to marry him, so she would choose the consequences. That was the inside story, at any rate.

The outside story changed with the tide. Sometimes it was because her children needed to feel the stability of a family home, even if one parent was rarely there. Sometimes it was the reality of bank loans and trust funds. It was always a point of irony for her, that the little girl with the proverbial silver spoon, was technically broke when there were two incomes in the house, but had her financial feet under her as a single parent. It didn't take much to figure out the source of that problem. She couldn't expose her assets nor those of her children, to the risks their father took.

The church angle was always good to work, and was almost true. She did believe what God put together, no one on earth had the right to dismantle. The catch, as her priest friends reminded her from time to time, was that some relationships were not put together by God, so humans were well within their rights to dismantle what they had forced in the first place. This made sense to Sharon. God was nowhere in her marriage. The paradox was never lost on her, but most people didn't look for the irony, they just accepted the excuse and backed away. Whether the person was an atheist or super-religious, no one wanted to talk religion.

But the last argument to remain in her marriage, the one she kept closest to her vest, allowing no one to know and only a few to guess, was that she was ambitious. She wanted her name to matter. She wanted to make a difference. It was with the richest sense of pleasure that she pulled the knife out of her side and plunged into Jack's ego - her marital status helped her get ahead in her career!

That career she had to begin to help him through college. That career she needed to keep her children fed, clothed and housed after he took off with her savings. That career that was responsible for more hours in isolation than her marriage provided. Even if she had to hear the derisive "Someone married you?", at least it was better than being constantly preyed upon like the divorced women in the LAPD. She was fine with being seen as the ice queen, the bitch who's husband never made an appearance, so long as people took her seriously. If she felt the need to scratch an itch, she did it as far away from the prying eyes of the LAPD as she could muster. No one could sexually compromise her position if she made it plain that she was a faithful, married woman.

And now she was top of the heap. She wasn't Commander yet, but neither was any other woman, and she was promised to be first after the wage freeze ended. Another little irony - she took the most expensive division in the LAPD, and made it the best managed and reduced costs, even with all of their demands and specialize equipment. She would create funding for her own promotion. She didn't need Jack or her status of wife to make that happen. She did it on her own.

Another irony was how Jack left her to fend for herself because his career was being stagnated by a young family. She had taken care of that family alone, and managed to make a name for herself in the legal community, that was recognized and respected, while he was still "Jack who?" She wondered if anyone ever called him "Sharon's husband". That was a twist she would love to see. She couldn't help her smile.

Her phone rang, startling her. Pulling it out of her pocket, she looked at the name and hummed.

The biggest irony of all was on the other end. Throughout her entire career, she was untouchable. She didn't date because she was married. She didn't attend many social gatherings, because she had a family. She didn't play politics or favourites, because she had to maintain a position of neutrality. Now that her marriage was over, her reputation above reproach, her career at it's height, her financial future solid, her children successful in their own rights... now that she was beyond the age where most people thought romantic scandal would be an issue, now that she could honestly laugh in Jack's face about cheating on him, now that every connection to his daily existence was about to be severed, she could finally indulge in the one thing no one thought she would ever do.

Now she could break the rules.

**~FIN~**

_(Inspired by the blog post of yetanotherramblingfangirl: "The exact phrasing of her reply is so incredibly important because she is sending the unequivocal message that she no longer needs him in any capacity. She is saying that she stayed married because it helped move her career forward. Fewer people would claim she'd slept her way up the ladder if she had a ring on her finger, and Sharon Raydor was motivated to reach her rank. She thought it would be good for the LAPD to see a woman in a captain's uniform. She made a conscious choice and the need to continue on that path is gone, so she's not going to do it anymore. She makes it clear that her decision to remain married and her decision to seek divorce are about HER and HER happiness, and that's a big frickin' deal! yetanotherramblingfangirl tumbler post/91869489660)_


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